FMQs

For those of you who read this as a substitute for watching it, let me just say that you missed nothing!

Sturgeon led on the Auditor General's report on the NHS, and started complaining about so-called 'hidden' waiting lists. McConnell pointed out that they weren't actually hidden. They accused each other of undermining the medical profession. I decided to finish a su doku puzzle rather than keep listening. Judging by the screeching and posturing, I made the right decision.

Goldie is trying to be Cameron-esque, extending her bosom (McConnell brought bosoms into this, by the way) to McConnell if he takes a more Blairite line. The First Minister didn't quite know what to do, and started talking about David Cameron's bosom. I decided to start on the kakuro puzzle rather than watch the sick spectacle unfold.

And Colin Fox attempted to guilt trip McConnell over the War in Iraq, noting Cindy Sheehan's visit to Parliament. I listened, but it sounded at best dull and at worst whiny. Tommy Sheridan would have done a far better job. Please come back, Tommy. All is forgiven!