MacNumpty Awards: Comical Ali award

Jack 'If you want independence, you'll neglect our schools and hospitals' McConnell

Considering that nearly everything uttered by the Labour Party in the last few months has been a rant about the joys of the Union, you'd think he'd shut up before accusing anyone else of obsessing about the Constitution.

Alex 'We're going to win Dunfermline & West Fife' Salmond

The SNP were on course for a stunning victory in the Dunfermline & West Fife By-Election, according to Alex Salmond. They came third. If I start betting on the horses, I'll avoid his tips, I think.

Nicol 'I can be First Minister after the Election' Stephen

Firstly, the LibDems, are third in every recent poll, and on current figures are unlikely to the largest party in either the Parliament or the Executive. Secondly, even McConnell has charisma when compared with Nicol Stephen.

Mary 'I'm not a Tory - honest!' Scanlon

Scanlon did everything she could to hide the fact that she was a Tory during the Moray By-Election, despite having been a Tory Regional MSP since 1999. She even produced letters supporting her from independent councillors, which they didn't write, and sent them to people who they didn't represent. Oops.

Tommy 'MI5, the SSP and Rupert Murdoch are working together against me' Sheridan

Where to start? OK, so the editorial team at The Sun doesn't like him. I don't think Murdoch's even heard of him. Maybe MI5 are trying to subvert him, who knows? And yes, the SSP do seem to have a grudge against him. But all three of them? Together? In a pact? I've heard of 'my enemy's enemy is my friend', but come on!